Skip to main content

Communicate with your kids

It is not easy to talk to your child. Sometimes, it feels almost impossible. If they are teenagers then they would prefer to stay in their room and not talk to anyone. If they are in grade school, there are topics that can be hard to approach in an
age-appropriate way.
Having an actual conversation can be challenging, but you can do it.

Here are six tips to get you ready…

Tip #1

Be an active listener

Make sure that your child has your full attention. Put your cellphone in another room on silent. Make sure that the television is off and give your child complete eye contact. Ask your child questions about what they are telling you. If you don’t understand something that they said, repeat it back to them and ask them to explain.

Tip #2

Respond and react to your child’s behavior

Did your child get a piece of their artwork in the school art show? Give your child praise! Hugs, tell them how proud you are, make sure that they know you are proud of them. Play with them, if they are into crafts, let them lead you through making something. Do they love Legos®? Build something together. Get down on their level and do what they love to do. Show them that you love and support their positive behavior.

Tip #3

Have one-on-one time with your child every day

We totally understand how crazy a day can get. Between work, getting dinner ready, helping with homework, and cleaning up after dinner, there is so little time in the day. But having even ten minutes of un-interrupted time with your kid every day to discuss their high and low points of the day, what they have coming up, how their relationships with their friends are going, can have a huge impact.

Tip #4

Be honest with your kid

Tell them how their actions make you feel. Whether you are proud, excited, or even disappointed. Be honest with your feelings. You want to set a pattern that when you communicate, you always are honest with each other.

Tip #5

Pay attention to the details

Sometimes asking about even the smallest details of a story can lead to what your kid is really trying to tell you. It is hard for kids to communicate their true feelings so look for details within their stories and notice their body language. Do they appear uncomfortable? Are they fidgeting? Perhaps there is something that they need to tell you. Asking about those smaller details can really help.

Tip #6

Give real advice

Sometimes we don’t love what our kids have to tell us. Perhaps they have a friend who is experimenting with drugs, maybe they stole something or have had sex for the first time. Stay calm and give practical advice that really helps. Do not brush it off because it is a difficult subject or you are disappointed in their choices. Help them resolve the situation that they are in the best way possible.


Do not give up on your kid. If there is something that you aren’t able to help them with, it is okay to ask for help. Ask a close friend, relative, or their school counselors. As they say, “it takes a village to raise a child.”


Author senecanativeconnections

More posts by senecanativeconnections